Judgment is when our soul is shaped by another person’s shortcomings rather than  the nature of God.  It is the sin we are most likely to fall into when someone else has sinned against us.

“Judge not lest you also be judged”, Jesus said.  This could be another opportunity for us to misinterpret the nature of God.  He is not waiting behind the door to see if we judge others, so that He can nail us.  Jesus is describing an aspect of reality that we need to be warned about.  The word “judgment” which is used here carries the meaning of “limit”.  The idea is that in our mind, or our emotions we lock someone into a way in which we see them.  We limit them with our perceptions. When we do that, the limitation we impose with our soul is also imposed on our soul.

Have you ever been angry at someone for being…angry?  Or how about the universal trap for all of us.  The quickest route to become like our parents is to judge them and utter the words. “I’ll never be like my parents…“  The ways we limit others become the very limitations that impair us.

The thing or things that we judge in others is well on it’s way to being formed in the fabric of our own soul.  “Judge not. lest you also be judged”, is a warning from Jesus.  Do not allow the shortcomings of other people to mold you MORE than the Nature of God in you.

Here is the most important distinction we must make.  Discerning the truth about someone is not judgment. We can recognize all manner of flaws, characteristics, habits, etc. and even accurately assess their condition.  As long as our discernment is coupled with the heart of God toward that person, we have not slipped into judgment.  Judgment is when you discern something about someone, and harden your heart because of and in response to what you discern.  Now you have slipped into the sin of judgment.  It will cripple you and it will shape your soul.

Forgiveness is what you do with the impact of sins committed against you.  Judgment is the most likely sin you will fall into when someone sins against you.

Guard your heart above all else…from it flow the issues of your life.

Forgiving those who hurt you is for your restoration, not the restoration of the offender.  Two particular persons you need to include on your forgiveness list.  You and God

Forgiving yourself is very difficult for many people.  They may have held resentment against themselves for years.  Based on yesterday’s post, forgiveness is how you finally become released from the power of the pain of sins committed against you.  This is especially true if you are the one who commiteed sins against yourself.  Step back, agree with God about your past.  God’s opinion is not that your behavior was acceptable, but that your behavior is covered and finishedand you are now acceptable..

Next on the forgiveness list is God.  This one can be a little controversial.  Someone reading may take up offense for God on this.  Relax and keep reading, before you decide to defend the Almighty.  Let me begin by saying that God has never sinned against anyone.  It is essential to keep in mind though, that according to 2 Corinthians 10,  strongholds, patterns of untrue thinking, are directed against our knowledge of God.  At some time in our life it is highly likely that we have held a resentment against God because of our perception of events and our perception of God’s motives and actions.  One of the most tragic events is when someone, because of the pain of their circumstances, builds a barrier between themselves and the only One who can heal them.

I have often seen people build theological constructs in their mind to avoid dealing with pain in their heart that they have attributed to God.  Get real, get honest.  He is not afraid of you.

Other Random Issues in Forgiveness:

It is not necessary for the other person to come to you and ask forgiveness.  This is your gift to get free, and may not involve that person at all.

It is not necessary for you tell the other person you have forgiven them.  Too many times I have seen new offense stirred up because of some compulsion to go to someone and say “I have forgiven you”  Let me say again.  Forgiving them is NOT ABOUT THEM.  I have sat with numerous people who forgave deceased relatives.  Forgiveness was for the release of the forgiver not the forgiven.  The whole point is giving them over to God.  Be done.

You might find it tempting to begin to excuse the behavior of the other person.  Thoughts like, “It wasn’t that bad”, or, “they really didn’t mean it”. “They didn’t know better,”  these and so many others seem to be a way that people begin to minimize the offense, and funtionally minimize their own pain.  Remeber the point is NOT the other person but your restoration.  So do not try to answer questions about the motive or capacity of the other.  The question is “did it hurt”?  If it hurt, forgiving them is to help you in your own restoration.

While I have mentioned that forgiveness is a healing process, God’s healing is not intended to be a substitute for the grieving process.  Grieving is an ongoing process of God’s healing work that reflects the value of what was lost or damaged.  If you lost a loved one, or a relationship, or a possesion, or a condition that was important, attempting to have no more pain at all about this loss, may rob you of the value of grieving.  Jesus was a Man acquainted with grief. We should not run, or hide from it simply because we want to not hurt any more.

Grieving is the process of our souls adapting to a new and undesired circumstance.  Allow the adaptation to happen.

The next post will be on  the ugly cousin of resentment, Judgement.  Often when we have need to forgive we also have need to deal with our judgements.

Forgiveness:  God’s Gift to allow you to be who He made you to be, in the face of real evil and real pain.  What is it?  What is our part?  What is God’s part.  The answers to these questions may open the door to your freedom.  Forgiveness is a two part process, the first part, is yours.  You do your part, and it connects you to the work that God already performed through Jesus on the cross.  Let’s examine.

1.  Your Part:  You must make a CHOICE. The choice is this: You choose to live with the consequences of the other’s sin, and not charge it to their account.  Did I mention that this is not easy.  In some cases it may be the most difficult choice a human can make.  Jesus made this choice in the Garden of Gesthemane the night before His crucifixion.  This choice required such intense will-work, that the Son of God sweat drops of blood as He chose to take our sins upon Himself and not charge them to our account.  Whe you make this difficult choice it accomplishes three important things on your behalf.

A.  It gives you back your Mind: When you are angry at another, you give them real estate in your mind.  Forgiving restores back to you posession of what you have given away.  If you have ever wondered why it is difficult to control your thoughts, consider this;  It is impossible to submit to God what you have already given to someone else.

B.  It gives the offender Back to God: When you release them, you give them over to God for Him to work justice in their lives.  Justice is not an eye for an eye or a tooth for a tooth.  This approach simply results in a lot of blind toothless people.  True justice is when wrong things are made right.  God is better at this than you are.

C.  It opens the door for Part two, God’s part of forgiveness: Healing your soul: When you give up the role of being your own healer, however futile it may have been, you make room for God to do what He does best. I am convinced that the restoration of our souls is the real goal of forgiveness.  This allows us to be who we are created to be even when we have faced real evil or real pain.

2.  God’s Part:  The HEALING made available to us through the Cross of Jesus:  Jesus died for the sins of the world.  He died for your sins. Have you ever considered that He died for the sins committed against you?  The day He died, He endured an onslaught of human pain.  He was betrayed, abused, shamed, mocked, rejected, abandoned, and the list could go on.  On that day, He earned the right to take not only your sins, but the sins that others have committed against you.  He earned the right to take onto His own Being that which you were never designed to bear; the consequence of sin.  You cannot give it to Him, until you take responsibility for what you do with these consequences.  But you were never designed to bear this weight for the rest of your life.

The conversation would sound something like this:

God, I choose to forgive my father for abandoning our family.  I choose today to live with the consequences of his sin, and not charge this sin to his account.  But God, when he left us, I felt afraid.  I felt abandoned.  I felt rejected and alone.  Would you take the pain from his sin, and lift it from me?  Would you take this pain and put it on the cross, where it belongs?  God thank you for yor willingness to take from me what I cannot bear.

Notice three parts to this prayer:

1.  A choice:  Not just a desire, a choice

2.  An accounting:  Name the sins you are forgiving.

3.  An accoutning of the cost:  Name the consequences you have borne.  Fear. abandonment, etc.  This is not done to rehearse again what you feel, but to acknowledge what you are giving to Jesus.

Next post, we will look at some important considerations in forgiving.