Some stuff about me…

March 28, 2010 // By: // 8 Comments

The Freedom Guy…yeah that’s me…normally I write stuff a little headier, a little ethereal…sometimes stuff that stirs me, or odd thoughts that I have. Today I want to just say some stuff about me.

You want to learn sports from someone who has played a lot, not from a beginner.  You want to learn any skill or topic from someone who has experience.  I hope I can teach freedom to people because God has freed me, but also because He continues to do so.

I don’t think it is helpful, as a leader, to tell people that you struggle all the time because we often assume that this is the norm, and that, therefore freedom is a myth.  I also don’t want to tell people I never struggle because well, I am just fed up with the presentation from leaders that says, “I have arrived, try to be like me…”

But the reality is that life is both joy and pain.  Abundant life includes both ends of the spectrum.  Honesty about both keeps us in honest contact with the One who made us.

This last Kairos (for those new to this blog, or Gateway’s Freedom Ministry, this is our three day event designed to facilitate an encounter with God) was very deeply helpful to me.  Though I was there to do my part and help others, I found myself greatly helped as God spoke to me throughout about the condition of my heart.  Amazingly, He never said a thing about what might be wrong with my heart.  Rather, the things He did say, evidenced places I was needing to hear more from Him.

Here is an example.  I am the Executive Pastor of Pastoral Care at a large church with a vision to help as many people as we can.  I oversee a staff of about 18 people whose mission is to help people to encounter God so that they might discover their true identity and purpose.  We are busy, and we are impacting a lot of lives.  At Kairos, God told me He did not rescue me so I could be an Executive Pastor of anything,  He said He just saved me because He loves me and wanted me to be His son.  A great weight lifted from my shoulders, as He came near and Fathered me.

One of our teachers was describing the depth of God’s love for us, when he said that He would rather go to Hell if the person he loved was going to hell.    This teacher said that in that moment God told him that this is how much He loves him.  At the same moment, as he spoke,  I received the positive equivalent of a punch in the gut.  It was like God pierced me with love.  He just reminded me “I love you Bob” in a sudden and visceral revelation. This seemed to me to reveal how much I had been functioning as an employee, not a beloved son.

Later in the weekend, during a teaching on Father and Mother wounds, our speaker was sharing on how a father, in loving his daughters, grants them the power of their feminine identity.  God softly whispered in my ear “You did good at that…”  I melted.  I didn’t even mind that His grammar was bad. I often struggle, as my kids grow close to leaving home, with whether or not I have given them what they need.  I hope they think so, but God told me I had.  Another weight from my shoulders.

Throughout the weekend it was like God was lancing little pockets of pain and self doubt that had festered outside of my consciousness. He was so nice to me!!  I am glad that He is my Dad.

For more about Kairos click here:  Kairos Testimonies