Stuck? Probably, but not what you think…
April 6, 2009 // By: Bob Hamp // 5 Comments
Stuck…trapped…frustrated…these words describe more of us than we like to admit. Why is it so hard for us to break free and live the life we dream about? Why is it so difficult to overcome? Perhaps you have spent a lifetime trying to change, or you’ve only woken up recently to the need to deal with something. Either way, you may have found change is not as easy as you had first hoped. Why? Because we skip the two most important steps in breaking free. We start immediately trying to change the obvious. Control your fear; stop eating so much; don’t let other people’s opinions control your sense of well-being. The list is endless and common to the human journey. Attack those frustrating behaviors, control those paralyzing emotions, and then try again tomorrow. Unless you handle the first two hurdles, all of your best attempts at change are likely to meet with frustration. What hurdles? Glad you asked.
The first is this: Define the problem differently. If you have been doing everything you can to change and things are not changing; or worse, things are getting worse, step back and consider that you may have defined this thing incorrectly. The most clever answer to the question is still wrong, when the wrong question is being asked. Consider that our your inherent drive towards Freedom will bring all your strength to focus on changing this thing. It would be a shame if you brought all your strength to bear and spent years aiming your strength at the wrong target. Like the wife who screamed at her husband for years in order to get him to be more sensitive, we must aim our efforts at a target that will actually produce the results we are after.
The Second hurdle is this; consider that part of what has you stuck is that you are stuck being you. I hope this does not sound too harsh, but it is common to all of us. If it is difficult for you to approach this second hurdle, try this simple experiment. Reach down, grab the bottom of your feet, and lift yourself off the ground. Airborn yet? If not, you are beginning to come to grips with this trap. You are stuck being you. You need Someone bigger, Someone smarter, Someone not you who is capable of transforming you into someone different to throw their weight into your circumstances…for more on this thought see the post “C’mon in…” by my friend Alan. Don’t stay stuck being you.
Step back, re-define what’s wrong, and start with the gentle, but direct definition; something in you must change, before the things you do or think or feel will ever start to change. Re-define, reconnect…
Think differently
Need some help with this? If you live near the Dallas Fort Worth area, tonight (Monday April 6) our class “Levels of Change” can help you make the shifts I am talking about. Gateway Church, Southlake Texas 7:00 pm in the main auditorium.
5 Comments
It has been a blessing to spend the last 6 months focusing on the things inside that must change in order for the things on the outside to change. It’s a difficult and trying journey when you have been trained so long to focus on the behavior first…My problem has been wanting things to change quickly and not taking the time and practicing the discipline to step back and pause to dig deep inside before tackling the outside. What a blessing to have a faithful loving God…great reminder, Pastor Bob…
In recent months, things have come to the surface that remind me that “I have to live that way.”
This, too, is just such a reminder. A reminder to look back and gage the progress, then look now and see where I am in the process… and to look ahead to that glorious day when I will be complete.
Recent statements made to people I love:
“I am going to stop fighting against you and start fighting for you.”
“The mistake I made before was giving up on you ever becoming the person God created you to be – I was wrong.”
The truth of God at work in me frees me from thinking I need to “do something” to bring change into the lives of those I love. It frees me to focus on allowing God to change me by admitting where I’ve been wrong and letting God adjust my perspective with His truth about me.
Then I can effectively fight for those I love by encouraging them, praying for them and over them and loving them unconditionally. And that process also works out change in me. Then I can say… I missed the point of that – God’s work in you is His work in you and has nothing to do with me. WHEW! That can set a control freak free.
For now, I am content to focus on God and let Him change what needs to be changed. He is better at identifying the problem anyway. Thanks for making all of this available to us in so many ways. God uses every word to highlight something I think I know and take me to an entirely different level… HMMM I am going to go and thank Him.
Blessings.
Yeah, I must change the question. I also need the Holy Spirit to change me in to Christ’s image. I’m so impatient with that change and feel that I quiet honestly sabatoge that effort because I don’t do what it takes to allow Him to change me. Lack of spending time in the Word and feeling that I can survive on yesterday’s manna have hamstringed me.
There is so much in my life that I want to change, I want to be out of debt yesterday, I want to be discaplined in the Word daily, I want to not waste entire day’s at work being unproductive, because I’m afraid of success I think.
I think I know what it takes, I’m just not accepting my failers and weaknesses, and allowing Christ to glorify Him self in my weaknesses. Oh, I feel stuck, and yet I’m confident that the Holy Spirit is not done with me yet. Some way I’m going to get it.
I wonder at what point you sabotage? The expectations or the outcomes? The things you mentioned…has God told you those are His expectations? Eventually perhaps, but where does He want to start? Glad to hear you know you are in process. Keep stepping Jeremy
The Holy Spirit is at work in me. Today, I’ve spent time in His Word the past 5 days, I’m feeling more successful at work, and the debt is not as big as I perceive. A change in perspective is what I needed. Also getting on the same page with your wife helps also. My previous comments are from a guy who was lacking in communication and communion with the one person God chose to walk this life with me. She is awesome, and I’m learning to trust her more. My relationship with the Father is ever growing, my heart is focused on others, rather than myself, and I am happy. I am feeling the Joy of my salvation again.
But I can’t help to point out that having a teammate like my wife is so cool. I don’t feel so alone. God is not done with me..I want more of Him, I want to communicate with Him better also, I want to commune with Him more and not be so drawn by the things of this world. Holy Spirit…come.