Keep in mind, the obvious things are usually not the way out. Lust is often not about sex. Anger is usually not about the person toward whom you feel angry. Fear is often a smokescreen.
Compulsive behaviors are bait to get you to try harder, therefore becoming more compulsive. The Bible says it this way. There is a way that seems right to a man, but the end thereof is…death. Things are not as they seem. There is a way out, but it is usually not located by looking for a way out.
The most important thing that you can know is that Freedom comes from God not from you.
Where the Spirit of the Lord is….THERE is freedom!
What we think is that if we can get things straightened out then we can get in His presence. The truth is the exact opposite. If we can get in His presence, He will straighten things out.
The dark side of the spiritual realm would have you believe that you cannot approach God until you clean up your act. Grace would say that God approaches you when you most need it, in order to help restore your soul. It could not work any other way.
God knows all the stuff we do not. Hence the title; God.
So step one, go to Him…ask Him questions. Listen for Him to answer. Ask Him what questions He wants to answer. Be honest about exactly where you are and what you have done. DO NOT let your shame keep you away from this conversation. Your shame knows that if you have this conversation, you will meet the only One who can take your shame away.
God is likely to talk to you about things that you did not expect Him to talk about. This is a skill they taught me in grad school. God is pretty good at it.
You might be struggling with lust, He might talk to you about your father. You might be struggling with fear, He might talk to you about how much He loves you. You might be struggling with compulsive thoughts or behaviors. He might talk to you about what you would have to face if those thoughts or behaviors actually went away. You might have physical pain. He might talk to you about forgiving the teacher in your fourth grade class.
The obvious things are almost never the way out. Talk to God. He is smart, He is good, and He loves you.
Has He ever spoken to you about something completely unexpected, yet it changed you forever?